Reclaiming the part of you that never felt safe
This is repair that goes deep—not surface comfort, but emotional whole-making from the inside
This map is about repair.
Not surface-level healing.
But the kind that goes deep—back to the part of you that never got to feel safe.
Because trauma isn’t just what happened.
It’s what didn’t happen:
- No one protected you.
- No one helped you understand your emotions.
- No one showed you it was okay to have needs.
And over time, you began to believe you were the problem.
This framework helps you find that part again—and bring them home.
DISCLAIMER
This framework is still in the making. Some sections are unfinished or may evolve as we continue refining the language, tools, and structure.
This is where the cycle ends.
And where a new one begins—
based on truth, safety, and the quiet courage to care for yourself.
You’re not alone anymore.
You’re home.
Comparative Framework Chart
Framework 6 – “Healing the Inner Child & Re-building Ourselves” × Developmental Psychology • Attachment Theory • Somatic-Bodywork
Paretas Phase | Core Task (“What’s Happening”) | Developmental-Psychology Mirror | Attachment‐Lens Translation | Somatic / Neuro-biological Correlate | Key Thinkers / Modalities |
1. Naming the Abandonment<br>(“How we abandon ourselves to survive”) | Recognise childhood emotional neglect & the adaptive false-self. | Erikson’s early crises (Trust vs Mistrust, Autonomy vs Shame) – unmet stages lock in threat schemas. | Internal working-model forms “I’m too much / not enough” → insecure (anxious/avoidant) patterns2. | Limbic alarm → chronic sympathetic tone; implicit memory stores “emotional flashbacks.” | Bowlby, Crittenden, Bruce Perry |
2. Self-Reparenting<br>(“Becoming the caregiver you needed”) | Build an internal secure base that offers attunement, soothing, structure. | Winnicott’s “good-enough mother”; Self-Compassion training. | Induce earned security by offering consistent felt safety to younger parts. | Vagal toning & oxytocin release during self-soothing; strengthens vmPFC ↔ amygdala coupling. | Kristin Neff (self-compassion), IFS “Self energy” |
3. Somatic Retrieval<br>(“Bringing the crying baby home”) | Contact preverbal affect through imagery, breath, touch. | Piaget’s sensorimotor traces; implicit procedural memory. | Repair mis-attunement by co-regulating body states first, words later. | Somatic techniques: grounding, pendulation, therapeutic touch—proven to down-shift autonomic threat4. | Levine (SE), Ogden (SP), Rosenberg (Polyvagal) |
4. Integrative Accountability<br>(“Holding pride without shame”) | Own past survival-based harm withoutcollapsing into toxic shame. | Kohlberg’s post-conventional morality; Erikson’s Integrity vs Despair. | Move from fearful/ambivalent strategies to secure protest + repair. | dlPFC-mediated reflection while staying in ventral vagal safety; prevents shame freeze. | Brene Brown (shame research), Janina Fisher (Parts & Memory) |
5. Unmasking Authentic Self<br>(“Finding the self behind the mask” & role disruption) | Differentiate real needs from learned performance; tolerate relational push-back. | Rogers’ organismic valuing; Marcia’s Identity-Achievement. | Shift from “attachment for survival” to “attachment for growth.” | Increase interoception (insula) → clearer boundary signals; reduce cortisol via authenticity. | Carl Rogers, Gabor Maté |
6. Relational & Lineage Repair<br>(“Real love needs safety” & “Healing the lineage”) | Create new attachment contracts; transmit secure patterns forward. | Trans-generational models (Kerr’s family systems, Schore’s right-brain attachment). | Adult secure base = buffer that rewires child nervous systems → breaks cycle. | Neuroplasticity windows reopen in co-regulation; epigenetic stress markers can reverse with care. | Daniel Siegel (Interpersonal Neuro-biology), Ed Tronick (Still-Face) |
TEG-Blue™ is a place for people who care-about dignity, about repair, about building something better. It’s a map, an invitation, and a growing toolbox, as an evolving commons—supporting emotional clarity, systemic healing, and collective wisdom. Here, healing doesn’t require perfection—just honesty, responsibility, and support.