9.2 Becoming the Caregiver You Always Needed

A new parenting model—where you become the adult who shows up with the love, protection, and repair you were denied.

At some point, we needed someone to protect us.

To hold us through fear.

To help us feel without shame.

To say:

“I see you. You’re not too much.”

But maybe no one came.

Maybe they were distracted.

Maybe they were drowning in their own pain.

Maybe they never learned how to guide emotions—so they shut yours down instead.

So we adapted.

We stopped asking.

We buried the part of us that needed care—

because needing without receiving hurts too much.

This is where the pattern begins.

We grow up still waiting for the parent we never had.

Or we become the parent we feared—

repeating what once harmed us.

But healing is not about waiting anymore.

It’s about becoming.

Becoming the one who shows up.

The one who says:

“I’m here now. I see what happened. And I won’t abandon you again.”

This is not a metaphor.

It’s a real, emotional shift.

Where the adult part of you learns to protect the child in you—

instead of blaming them.

You begin to build a new kind of parent inside yourself:

One who listens. One who softens. One who shields you when the world cannot.

And that parent says things like:

“You’re allowed to rest.”

“You don’t need to be perfect.”

“I will not punish you for needing love.”

“You’re loved. You’re valued. You’re worthy. You’re enough.”

These words won’t erase the past.

They’re not magic spells.

But they begin to rewrite the future.

Because every time you meet yourself with compassion—

you repair a bond that once felt lost.

You become the caregiver you always needed.

And that, in itself, is a quiet revolution.