How patriarchy controls men by making them believe they are the ones in control.
The Hidden Submission Behind Masculine Power
Patriarchy doesn’t just oppress women.
It recruits men as enforcers—
by giving them the illusion of power
while keeping them emotionally obedient.
From an early age, boys are taught:
- To disconnect from their emotions
- To fear softness
- To tie their worth to dominance, control, and emotional suppression
This isn’t freedom.
It’s a script of emotional submission.
But because this script rewards them with perceived authority over others—especially women—
many men mistake it for empowerment.
The Emotional Deal Men Are Forced Into
To keep the role of “man,” they are told to:
- Swallow grief
- Hide fear
- Convert tenderness into sex
- Turn sadness into rage
- Prove their value through control
But all this has a cost.
What doesn’t get expressed turns into pressure—
And that pressure needs somewhere to go.
So it gets projected outward:
- Onto women
- Onto children
- Onto the world
Patriarchy creates hurt men—
then hands them power to punish others for that hurt.
Why This Is Not Real Power
Hurting others is not strength.
Dominating others is not safety.
Performing a rigid emotional script is not freedom.
This is not power—it’s displacement.
The real goal of patriarchy was never to make men free.
It was to make them loyal.
Loyal to control.
Loyal to suppression.
Loyal to roles that serve the system, not themselves.
What Freedom Looks Like Instead
True freedom begins when a man can say:
“This rage isn’t who I am.
This silence isn’t strength.
This need to dominate isn’t power—it’s pain I never got to feel.”
When a man fully sees how he’s been used to control others—
while being emotionally controlled himself—
he doesn’t become weak.
He becomes clear.
And that clarity is liberation.
Not just for him.
But for everyone he was trained to control.
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Reflection
What did you have to give up to be seen as a “real man”?
Who would you be if no one ever taught you that power meant control?
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