TEG-Blue Origin Timeline — From Collapse to Framework

TEG-Blue Origin Timeline

A map of lived events, realizations, and the birth of key frameworks

This timeline shows how each part of TEG-Blue emerged from specific moments of collapse, insight, and survival.

Every framework, every visual, and every tool came from an emotional turning point.

April 2024 — Leaving the Relationship after 6 years together

Event:

Leave covertly abusive relationship. Walks away with nothing: no job, no salary, no savings.
Begin researching narcissism and talking about it openly.
Family members feel threatened as they recognize themselves in the patterns I describe.
Subtle exclusion begins: nieces/nephew no longer brought to visit, despite previously spending weekends and weekday afternoons with you.

Emotional Impact:

Sense of sudden loss layered on top of breakup grief.
Confusion — unable to understand why family would withdraw instead of offering support.
Loneliness magnified by missing the children’s unconditional love.

Insight Learned:

First clues about enmeshed family systems — where closeness is used to control rather than support.
Early awareness of covert punishment: withdrawal of affection/contact as an unspoken way to control behavior.

April–May 2024 — Subtle Avoidance & Isolation

Event:

Mother begins avoiding contact (e.g., moving silently upstairs).
In acute financial and emotional crisis — no salary, no savings, no unemployment benefits after ex left with nothing.
Loss of time with children removes main emotional anchor.

Emotional Impact:

Feeling invisible in own home.
Rising anxiety and hypervigilance — listening for movement upstairs, anticipating avoidance.
Heavy sadness from losing safe emotional space with the kids.

Insight Learned:

Understanding that emotional neglect can be active (avoiding contact) and passive (withholding support).
Realizing that family jealousy can target healthy relationships between relatives (in this case, with the children).

Summer 2024 — Escape on the Road

Event:

Take motorbike trip across rural France with dog, staying in remote campgrounds.
Experience temporary freedom, peace, and nature.
End trip staying with mutual friends in southern Germany; tension grows due to André’s lies and refusal to share savings.

Emotional Impact:

Relief and expansion in nature; brief return to self.
Tension and discomfort when financial betrayal overlaps with social mistrust.

Insight Learned:

Beginning to see the difference between connection spaces (nature, freedom) and control spaces (family home, shared social circles with abuser).
Awareness of how shared social networks can be weaponized in post-abuse situations.

Late Summer 2024 — Return to Family Building

Event:

Return to apartment in family building due to financial constraints.
Siblings stop bringing their children entirely without explanation.

Emotional Impact:

Feeling trapped back in a toxic dynamic.
Increased hopelessness at the silence surrounding the exclusion.

Insight Learned:

Start connecting behavior to triangulation — using children as pawns to punish or control another adult.
Early signs of recognizing emotional cutoff as a manipulation tactic.

December 1, 2024 — Brother’s Birthday Lunch

Event:

Attend lunch for your brother’s birthday with brother, sister, brother in law, mother, and the children.
With €80 in bank account; they know the financial struggle.
Expected to pay €50 for meal and a proportional share of inviting brother.
Throughout the meal, brother and sister speak about mw in low voices, believing you cannot hear, they do not speak directly to me at all.
Mother treats the situation as if it’s normal.

Emotional Impact:

Humiliation at being financially pressured despite them knowing your situation.
Feeling erased in the group — physically present but socially excluded.
Deep loneliness, even in the presence of family.
Early seed of deciding not to spend Christmas with them.

Insight Learned:

Recognition of covert shaming — combining subtle social exclusion with financial pressure.
Awareness that silence and side-talk can be used as tools of isolation in narcissistic family systems.
Beginning to see that your mother normalizes dynamics that are harmful to you, which reinforces the abuse.

December 2024 — Ex-Partner Stalking

Event:

During December, your ex — who has no other connections in your hometown — begins showing up in the area.
Multiple people tell you they’ve seen him riding a bicycle or walking near your house.
The sightings happen while you’re already dealing with escalating tension from your family.

Emotional Impact:

Heightened sense of unsafety in your own neighborhood.
Feeling watched and cornered, with no safe space between family hostility and ex-partner intrusion.
Intensified hypervigilance and difficulty resting.

Insight Learned:

Recognition that post-separation abuse can extend beyond direct contact — through physical presence and intimidation.
Awareness of how external threats (ex-partner) and internal threats (family) can overlap, compounding trauma.
Understanding that stalking isn’t just psychological harm — it’s a clear and measurable red flag for potential escalation to physical violence.
Recognition that post-separation stalking triples the risk of lethal violence — research shows stalking by a partner increases homicide risk threefold, and in many cases precedes physical assault or murder (stalkingawareness.org).
Awareness that working publicly on narcissistic abuse awareness could further provoke an abusive ex, raising the danger level even more.

December 2024 — Pre-Christmas Message

Event:

Send kind message acknowledging avoidance, suggesting not spending Christmas together.
Leave door open for future communication but protect yourself from their three-against-one confrontations.

Emotional Impact:

Anxiety before sending the message; fear of backlash.
Relief after asserting boundaries, mixed with sadness at needing to.

Insight Learned:

Practicing self-protection without aggression — setting boundaries in a way that is direct yet non-escalating.
Understanding that clarity does not guarantee repair in an unsafe system.

December 2024 — Therapy as Intervention

Event:

Mother (likely with brother) arranges supposed “family therapy” in Barcelona.
Brother and sister do not attend; session is a psychiatric evaluation aimed at you.
Later learn they told psychiatrist you were having problems with ADHD medication (Elvanse 30 mg).
Realize they would rather have you believe you are mentally unwell than face their own behavior.

Emotional Impact:

Shock and betrayal at the setup.
Deep grief: confirmation that they are willing to distort reality to protect themselves.

Insight Learned:

Name the tactic: gaslighting by diagnosis — using mental health framing to discredit someone.
Deeper recognition of narcissistic family projection — putting the “problem” on the person who breaks the silence.

December 2024 — Pre-leaving

Event:

Brother begins actively campaigning against work on annaparetas.cat, telling others should work as a waitress instead of pursuing your project.
This message spreads through family conversations, shaping how others view capabilities.

Emotional Impact:

Feeling trapped back in a toxic dynamic.
Pain and frustration at having your professional identity and creative work dismissed.
Loss of trust in family members who believe or repeat his narrative.

Insight Learned:

Recognition of economic abuse through sabotage — undermining someone’s work to push them into low-autonomy jobs.
Awareness of reputation erosion within family systems — how one member’s narrative can be used to justify further exclusion or control.
Understanding that this kind of campaign isn’t about your actual skills, but about keeping you in a role that doesn’t threaten the family hierarchy.

Early 2025 — Decision to Leave & Birth of TEG-Blue

Event:

Create The Emotional Hurt Gradient Scale to visually distinguish between real harm and perceived hurt from discomfort.
This becomes the seed of TEG-Blue — a eureka moment of realizing you’ve created something significant.
Accept that family will not stop the emotional abuse.
Decide to sell own car to fund independence.

Emotional Impact:

Empowerment from creating something meaningful.
Mixture of loss (leaving family) and hope (building new path).

Insight Learned:

Clear understanding that discomfort is not the same as harm.
Recognition that making these distinctions visual can dismantle manipulation — a core principle that becomes foundational to TEG-Blue.

From Personal Breakdown to Global System Design

I lost everything. No income. No home. No family. No certainty. What I had was a mind trained for pattern, and a body flooded with trauma.

Every day, for months, I worked obsessively to map what I was feeling and why. I created visual tools to make sense of what I had no words for. I discovered that our emotional systems operate like gradients—not just personally, but socially, relationally, and systemically.

Over time, I realized I wasn’t just building a personal map.

I was building a universal architecture of emotional experience.

And I made a promise to myself: If I survive this, I will bring this map to the world. Not for praise. Not for profit. But so no one else has to walk through what I did, feeling lost and alone.

Monday, September 1, 2025 — I am back home. First contact after 9 months without seeing the kids

Event:

It’s been 9 months since I last saw the kids, not even in photos.
I write to my siblings to see each other and talk.
My brother replies quickly: “Okay, let’s find a day this week.”
My sister only replies 5 days later: “Ok, we’ll find a moment.”

Emotional impact:

Initial hope when receiving a quick reply from my brother.
Disappointment and discouragement at my sister’s delayed and vague reply.
Anxiety from the ongoing uncertainty after so much isolation.
Sense of unequal control: they decide the pace and timing, I’m left waiting.

Understanding gained:

Quick yet vague replies serve to keep me waiting without commitment.
The delay in answering is a way to assert distance and power.
The message offers no concrete step, only prolongs indefiniteness.
A pattern emerges: the goal isn’t to meet, but to keep me suspended.

Saturday, September 6, 2025 — Conditional conversations

Event:

I write clarifying that I’ll only accept to talk one-on-one, not in a “two-against-one” format.
I explain I want conversations to understand and repair, not to accuse or fuel conflict.
Both siblings reply with the same condition: they’ll only talk if it’s the three of us together.
When I insist on one-on-one, they shut the door: “We don’t see any need to do it separately.”

Emotional impact:

Sadness and exhaustion: after 9 months without the kids, the only answer is a condition.
Feeling of inferiority: they impose a format that strips me of a fair voice.
Blockage and helplessness: my proposal for honest conversation is refused.
Deep grief: realizing that even contact with the children is conditioned on accepting an unequal setting.

Understanding gained:

The imposed format (all three together) isn’t about dialogue, but about controlling the ground and the narrative.
It confirms that access to the kids is a bargaining chip, tied to my submission to their rules.
Their lack of flexibility shows that repair isn’t the goal; the goal is maintaining power.
For the first time it becomes clear that the blockage is intentional and sustained, not circumstantial.

Wednesday, September 10, 2025 — Losing Rossell after 16 years

Event:

I have to say goodbye to my dog Rossell after 16 years together.
My siblings don’t send a single message at this crucial moment.

Emotional impact:

Immense grief for the loss of a lifelong companion and emotional anchor.
Abandonment and betrayal amplified by the family’s silence in such vulnerability.
Disorientation: accompanying the death of someone who gave unconditional care while feeling utterly alone.

Understanding gained:

The family prioritizes image and control over real care in suffering.
Silence in the face of grief is a form of disowning responsibility and keeping emotional distance.
The bond with Rossell highlights what truly matters: care, loyalty, presence — all absent from the family dynamic.

Friday, September 13, 2025 — Ivet’s birthday I cannot attend

Event:

It’s Ivet’s birthday and I cannot attend.

Emotional impact:

Deep sadness at losing a meaningful moment with a child I love.
Guilt and helplessness at not being present for an important day.
Intensification of the void created by 9 months of forced distance.

Understanding gained:

Exclusion now erases not just adult relationships but the bonds with the children.
Controlling access to the kids works as emotional punishment: I’m deprived of vital moments.
Not being there highlights the need to protect child–adult bonds from manipulative dynamics.

Saturday, September 14, 2025 — Family barbecue without me

Event:

My siblings organize a barbecue at my sister’s house.
My mother attends, I’m not invited.

Emotional impact:

Public humiliation: seeing the family meet as if everything were normal, without me.
Social isolation: being excluded from a natural family gathering.
Reopened wound: being positioned as “outside” the family core.

Understanding gained:

Ritual exclusion (celebrations, gatherings) is an explicit tool of punishment and control.
My mother’s attendance without objection normalizes and reinforces my exclusion.
These actions confirm that there’s no current intention of repair; exclusion itself has become the goal.

Actions and Consequences

Action Taken	What It Produces / Shows	What an Honest, Repair-Oriented Action Would Look Like
Monday a message is sent: “I’m back, if you’d like to talk, let’s meet.” Brother replies quickly: “We’ll meet this week, but no rush.”	The quick reply leaves the meeting undefined.	Reply with a clear step: “We can meet Thursday or Friday — do either of those work for you?”
Sister doesn’t reply until Saturday (5 days later).	Keeps the situation unresolved. Shows distance or avoidance.	Reply within a reasonable time. If not possible, send a short note: “I’ll answer Saturday, I’m busy right now.”
Saturday reply: “Ok, we’ll find a moment.”	Leaves the plan open again. Keeps control over timing.	Offer concrete availability: “I’m free Monday or Wednesday — does either work?”
Contact with the kids is blocked until a joint conversation happens.	Imposes a “two-against-one” format, not a fair discussion. Uses the children as leverage. Makes the relationship conditional.	Allow contact with the kids regardless of adult conflict. If conversation is needed, make it fair: one-on-one, not two-against-one. Children are not bargaining pieces.
Condition: “The conversation must include both siblings, otherwise it isn’t necessary.”	Creates an artificial barrier. Delays progress. Keeps control in their hands.	Allow flexible steps: “You can talk with me first, and later we can meet together if needed.”
Monday Ivet doesn’t have lunch at grandma’s (breaking the routine).	Interrupts the normal routine. Cuts off natural contact. Shows deliberate withholding.	Maintain the routine. If there’s a change, explain openly: “Today she’s with me, so she won’t come to lunch.”
Refusing to separate children’s contact from adult conflicts.	Mixes adult issues with children’s wellbeing. Shows unwillingness to protect kids from tension.	Keep children’s needs separate: “The kids can see you, and we’ll resolve our issues as adults.”
Sending no message after Rossell’s death.	Shows indifference and emotional disconnection at a moment of maximum pain. Amplifies abandonment.	A short condolence: “I’m so sorry for the loss of Rossell. She was family and I know you’ll miss her.”
Not inviting me to Ivet’s birthday party.	Active exclusion from a significant event in a child’s life. Celebration used as punishment.	Invite me, or if not possible, explain in advance and allow another way to celebrate together (e.g., seeing Ivet another day).
Organizing a family barbecue without inviting me (while my mother attends).	Normalization of exclusion inside the family unit. My absence is consolidated as “acceptable.”	Include me in family gatherings. If conflict exists, name it openly and seek a solution that doesn’t erase me.

Actions and Personal Impact

Action Taken	Impact on Me / My Mental Health	Objective Behind the Action
Delaying replies for days.	Leaves me in uncertainty, triggers anxiety, makes me feel blocked.	Create destabilization so it looks like I’m the one overreacting.
Answering with vague phrases (“we’ll find a moment”).	Keeps me waiting without clarity or security; increases insecurity and discouragement.	Maintain control of the situation and avoid a real agreement.
Setting the condition that I can only see the kids after a joint conversation.	Makes me feel exiled and cut off from the kids I love; intensifies the sense of isolation.	Turn children’s contact into a bargaining chip to force me to accept their conditions.
Breaking the usual routine (Ivet not going to grandma’s lunch).	Cuts off natural contact, leaves me with deep sadness and loss of daily connection.	Use the kids as a tool of pressure and emotionally punish me.
Refusing to separate adult conflicts from children’s relationships.	Makes me feel trapped and powerless, as if there’s no way out; heightens chronic stress and guilt.	Mix children into the conflict to increase my vulnerability and emotional strain.
Sending no message after Rossell’s death.	Intensifies grief: I feel abandoned in maximum vulnerability; worsens sadness and disconnection.	Show public indifference; validate my loneliness and punish me for being vulnerable.
Not inviting me to Ivet’s birthday party.	Pain from missing an important moment; shame and exclusion aggravate isolation.	Use celebrations and children’s milestones as tools of punishment and control.
Organizing a family barbecue and not inviting me (mother attends).	Humiliation and pain: the normalization of my absence makes the wound seem “acceptable”; deepens distrust toward my mother.	Normalize exclusion to legitimize separation socially and consolidate my invisibility in the family.

Timetable events in table format:

Date / Moment	What Happened	Emotional Impact	Key Realization	Tool or Framework Born
April 2024 — Leaving the Relationship	Left covertly abusive partner after 6 years. Began researching narcissism. Family members felt threatened as they recognized themselves in the patterns → subtle exclusion began (children no longer brought to visit).	Grief from breakup + sudden loss of kids’ presence. Confusion at family’s withdrawal. Deep loneliness.	First clues of enmeshed family systems. Recognition of covert punishment (withdrawing affection to control).	Survival tracking + first sketches of emotional pattern mapping.
April–May 2024 — Subtle Avoidance & Isolation	Mother begins silent avoidance. In acute financial crisis (ex left with ano salary, no savings). Kids no longer visiting, removing main emotional anchor.	Feeling invisible. Hypervigilance (listening for footsteps). Heavy sadness at loss of safe space with children.	Saw that emotional neglect can be active and passive. Awareness of family jealousy targeting healthy bonds (with kids).	Seed of Emotional Neglect insight → groundwork for Harm Gradient.
Summer 2024 — Escape on the Road	Motorbike trip with dog across France. Relief in nature. Tension returns in Germany as André lies about savings.	Temporary freedom and peace. Return of tension in shared social networks.	Realized difference between connection spaces (nature, freedom) and control spaces (family, enmeshed social circles).	Seed of spatial/relational thinking in Mode Framework (Connection vs. Protection).
Late Summer 2024 — Return to Family Building	Return to family apartment due to finances. Kids stop visiting entirely. Brother undermines credibility with others (“she should work as waitress”).	Feeling trapped in toxic dynamic. Hopelessness at silence. Pain at reputation erosion.	Recognition of triangulation (children as pawns). Awareness of reputation sabotage as economic abuse tactic.	Insight fuels Modes + Defense Mapping (how narratives control roles).
Dec 1, 2024 — Brother’s Birthday Lunch	Siblings excluding directly in a family dinner birthday celebration dinner. Mother normalizes.	Humiliation + erasure. Loneliness even in group.	Recognition of covert shaming (financial pressure + social exclusion). Saw silence & side-talk as isolation tactics.	Sharpens mapping of manipulative tactics within Defense/Manipulation Modes.
Dec 2024 — Ex-Partner Stalking	Ex seen multiple times near home. Overlaps with family hostility.	Heightened unsafety. Hypervigilance. Feeling cornered.	Recognition of post-separation abuse as intimidation. Awareness that stalking is a measurable red flag for lethal violence.	Risk-awareness lens embedded into TEG-Blue Safety Mapping.
Dec 2024 — Pre-Christmas Message	Sent message: saying not spending Christmas together, but left door open for future.	Anxiety before, relief mixed with sadness after.	Practicing non-escalating boundary-setting. Learned that clarity ≠ repair in unsafe systems.	Early skillset for Boundary-Setting Tools.
Jan 2025 — Therapy Setup	Family arrange “family therapy” that turns out to be a psychiatric evaluation. Told psychiatrist false info about ADHD meds.	Shock and betrayal. Grief at confirmation they’d distort reality.	Named tactic: gaslighting by diagnosis. Recognition of projection as systemic defense.	Solidified Defense Mode logics.
Early 2025 — Pre-Leaving	Brother campaigns against project annaparetas.cat, Others adopt narrative.	Feeling trapped. Pain at professional dismissal. Loss of trust.	Recognition of economic abuse (undermining autonomy). Awareness of reputation erosion as family weapon.	Sharpening of Capital Filter Framework beginnings.
Early 2025 — Decision to Leave & Birth of TEG-Blue	Accepted family will not support. Sold car to fund independence. Created Hurt Gradient Scale to distinguish harm vs. discomfort.	Empowerment from creation. Grief at leaving, hope in new path.	Clear realization: discomfort ≠ harm. Visual distinctions dismantle manipulation.	Birth of TEG-Blue as a system. Hurt Gradient Scale becomes first core tool.

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