Early December, 2024
Hi family,
I’m sending this message because I don’t think we’re in a place where we can really talk right now. Things feel too heated, and like always, I’m the one who ends up losing — you’re three, and I’m one.
- I’m fully aware of the silence between us, Joan and Alba. I know you’re punishing me by keeping the kids away because you don’t approve I still have contact with Anna Olivet (my brother’s exwife). Anna Olivet helping me, your sister, during one of the hardest moments in my life. Even after your separation, she has continued to help me.)
- If punishing me is your way of handling problems, that’s your decision and I have to respect it. I just want you to know that no matter how much it hurts, my anger won’t come back. The time of blaming “Anna and her bad temper” is over for good.
- If you want to keep blaming me for everything, I’ll have to step away from your lives — because I can’t take any more of this hatred. Maybe that will bring you a sense of relief for a while, like “Finally, Anna’s gone.” But soon you’ll need someone else to hate, because that’s how hate works: if you don’t process it, it has to go somewhere. You’ll end up hating Dad again, or the aunts, or maybe even entire groups of people — because it’s easier than facing what’s inside.
- What you’re doing now is projecting the anger you carry inside and blaming everyone except yourselves.
- I know this pattern well because I’ve done it too — for many years. Realizing that and working to change it has helped me find real inner peace. It’s taught me to love myself and to love the people around me in a deeper way. The key is to stop blaming others and do the work of seeing where our anger truly comes from — and then take responsibility for the harm we cause, so we stop hurting the people we love.
- I’ll step out of your lives, and I won’t be able to see your children anymore. But please remember that I love them just as much as Mom does — and you know they’re completely safe with me. I’m their aunt, and I would protect them with my life, because they are the children of my little brothers and sisters.
- I miss them so much. Iona, Ivet, and Aran are incredibly important to me, and I love spending time with them. But you’re their parents, and you’ll do what you believe is best. If your decision is that they shouldn’t see me, that’s your choice — and I’ll respect it.
- If we can’t make peace, I think it’s better that I don’t come this Christmas. It’s deeply painful to feel like your own family doesn’t want you around — that’s how I often feel when I’m with you, especially on Joan’s birthday. I truly hope none of you ever have to experience that feeling.
- All of us, at some point, do things that hurt others — often without realizing it. None of us are perfect. I’ll always be willing to admit where I’ve been wrong and take responsibility for my mistakes. But until you can recognize the harm you’re doing and take responsibility for yours, it will be impossible to repair anything.
- I love you deeply. You’re my brothers and sisters, and I often dream of the day we can all sit together, laughing, talking, enjoying each other’s company, and feeling grateful that we have one another. I don’t know if that day will ever come — but somewhere inside me, I still hope it will.
- If you take this message as an attack, then the problem is much bigger than I thought, and there’ll be nothing left to fix. I’ll walk away from your lives for good and never look back.
- I know you judge the decisions I make in my life, but judging and trying to fix other people’s lives is often just a way to avoid facing your own. If you believe you know what’s best for me, let me ask: do you think anyone else knows what’s best for you? Then why do you think you know better than I do what’s best for me? And more importantly, why do you think it’s okay to judge me and criticize me behind my back — with each other and with other people?
- In healthy families, people help and listen to each other. They stand by one another and treat each other with respect. They talk honestly, without fear of judgment, and everyone feels valued for who they are. Conflicts are resolved through understanding and love, and everyone’s well-being comes before pride or the need to be right. In a healthy family, no one is excluded or forced to sacrifice their happiness just to keep the peace.
- If you ever want to meet and talk, we’ll only find a way forward if we do it with mutual respect — listening to each other with the real intention of finding solutions that help all of us feel better. To heal and move forward, each of us has to look inside, recognize our mistakes, and take responsibility for our actions. Above all, our relationship has to matter more than the need to be right or to win.
- We all deserve to feel heard and validated — and that only happens when the intention comes from the heart, not from hate, criticism, or blame. If we can talk from that place, I’m here. If not, then I just want you to know that I love you, I wish you well, and I truly want the best for you.