A personal account of covert emotional abuse
He took everything from me—but he did it slowly.
Not with violence.
With charm, guilt, and silence.
With lies so subtle I doubted myself before I ever doubted him.
That’s how covert abuse works.
It doesn’t scream.
It rewrites you.
How It Started
He was charming
Kind
Nice
Attentive
A good listener
He admired everything about me.
He called me every day
He texted me “Good morning” like clockwork—for years.
He felt like home
Hugging him felt like hugging someone I had waited for my entire life for.
He spoke the language of empathy, depth, and shared dreams
He said, “You see the world like I do.”
And we made plans
To grow old together
To build a meaningful life
To create something with purpose.
And I believed all of it.
Because why would anyone lie while building something real?
Who would pretend to care, to dream, to love—just to get inside your life?
But that’s exactly what he did.
He didn’t fall in love with me.
He can’t feel anything for anyone.
What he did instead was:
He studied me.
He watched what lit me up.
He echoed my thoughts.
He shaped himself into what I most wanted to find.
And I let him in—because I thought I’d finally meet “the one”.
By the time he stopped pretending—the shifts, the withdrawals, the small rewrites—I was too far inside our story to see it clearly.
The rest happened in slow motion.
Not an explosion.
A quiet undoing.
And that’s why it’s so hard to leave. Because you believed. You weren’t naive. You were sincere. You were loyal to the future you built together. You didn’t want to give up on the truth you were living—even when he already had.
What He Made Me Believe He Wanted
He made me believe he wanted someone to grow with—
but he wanted someone to control.
He made me believe he valued strength—
but he wanted someone who would shrink beneath him.
He made me believe he admired confidence—
but what he really wanted was someone who would need him for everything.
He made me believe he loved ambition—
but he wanted someone too exhausted to chase her own dreams.
He didn’t want someone who saw through him.
He wanted someone blinded by love.
And once the softness faded—
once he stopped pretending—
He wanted the parts of me that made me shine—
so he could take them for himself
and leave me fading in his shadow.
What I Thought I Lost
I thought I lost my soulmate.
But I lost someone who made me lose myself.
I thought I was loyal.
But I was betraying myself in his name.
I thought I was broken.
But I was just being dismantled by someone who needed me small.
What I Know Now
Cheating isn’t a mistake. It’s a choice.
Lies don’t just happen. They’re told.
Gaslighting isn’t confusion. It’s strategy.
They knew exactly what they were doing. Don’t let them convince you otherwise.
The moment I stopped making excuses for him was the moment I started choosing myself.
What He Never Saw Coming
He thought I’d stay quiet.
He thought I’d stay broken.
He thought the version of me he dismantled was the only one that existed.
But he never studied me well enough to see what I’m really made of.
FIRE.
And he never really saw it burning inside me.
Because I was kind. I was gentle.
And he was not smart enough to see the force behind it.
He tried to erase the wrong woman.
Because I remembered.
And now, the whole world will.
So let me say this straight to your face—
Stop stalking me.
You are nothing to me.
I see through you.
You had your chance to be human.
You chose to be a monster.
And I chose to turn your tactics into tools—
so others can see monsters like you before it’s too late.
This is my victory.
And it will always be your ending.
—Anna
